I was prepared to post about my favourite skin products today, but then I felt like I should start this part of my blog with something more personal, with something more important.
Growing up I struggled with accepting myself. There was not a day that I wouldn’t compare myself to other girls. I would ask ”why can’t I be like her?”. I remember that in my primary school everyone used to call me the ”black moor fish” or they used to make fun of my weight and my hair. Although this makes me laugh today, it definitely affected my mindset growing up. I wanted to straighten my hair because they didn’t like my curly hair or I would go through stupidly dangerous diets in order to make myself thinner. I would even end up wanting to get rid of my beauty mark because some people didn’t like it.
If you asked me what was that I hated about myself, I could give you a long list. If you asked me the opposite, I would genuinely struggle to give you an answer. The truth is, that everything that I would change or do to my appearance was because of other people. I was 100% not happy with how I looked.
It was only like two years ago that I realised that I needed a change. I wasn’t feeling myself, I felt like I was trying to be someone who I clearly wasn’t. It was getting so frustrating because even though I was making these changes, I felt like utter crap. I was making friendships for the wrong reasons, just everything didn’t feel right.
After a lot of thinking, I figured out that there was nothing wrong with me from the outside, but instead I doubted my own identity, my inner beauty. I began doing things because it made me happy and not for the sake of others. I learnt to take care of myself from the inside and the outside took care of itself. It was the biggest learning curve and I wished I realised earlier.
Today, I can say that I have never been so satisfied with how I am. I stay true to myself at all times, that being in my family, friendships or in my relationship. Not only have I changed from the inside but I have surrounded myself with people who make me grow, who appreciate me for just being me.
If people are putting you down, don’t let their opinions change you. Do things because of self-love, surround yourself with positive people and most important always stand up for who you are. That is real beauty… when you know exactly who you are as a person.